עודכן ב: אפר 26
קיבלנו מייל אנונימי מגבר שגר בארצות הברית. הסיפור שלו זה סיפור של ברית מילה בגיל 9. מקווים שהוא יגרום לאנשים שעלו ארצה עם ילדים בוגרים לשקול את הניתוח מחדש ולדאוג קודם כל לבריאות הנפשית של הילדים שהם רוצים לימול.
הסיפור אינו מתורגם ומובא לכם באריכה המקורית של הכותב. הגיבו מה אתם חושבים, הדעה שלכם חשובה לנו מאוד.
I was circumcised when I was nine. In no uncertain terms, my mother traded my foreskin for a green card. We only recently moved to USA from Russia. She got married to a much older man who was also Russian, but lived in America for decades. He had “rediscovered” his Jewish roots while living here and attending a Russian speaking synagogue in Denver, but in reality he had become fixated on random minute Jewish things and never following through with the actual Jewish faith. He developed a bizarre fetishistic obsession with circumcision, getting himself and his sons circumcised some years before I came into the picture.
My family are also Jewish, but we were never religious, no one in Russia was at the time, especially Jews. I didn’t even know what “circumcision” meant until I met my stepfather. Can you imagine being nine and having a 50 year old man you barely know wistfully talk nonstop about skinning your willy? I was hoping this obsession would fade away, but my stepfather was putting the pressure onto my mom and threating to throw us out of the house and send us back to Russia if she didn’t comply. I wouldn’t call my mother a “mail order bride,” but her marriage and reason for us ending up in America was very complicated and I won’t delve into it here, otherwise this post would go on forever.
My mother finally caved in to his pressure behind my back and on a bright summer day in 1996 I was driven to a strange house (years later I found out it was the local Russian Rabbi’s house) where I was escorted inside. Realizing something was wrong, I was confronted by a creepy looking bearded Hassidic man, smiling what can only be described now as “Harvey Weinstein in heat.” He reach out his hand, I assumed it was to shake mine, so I did the same. Next thing I knew, he started pulling me down into the basement. I tried to get away. My mother was nowhere to be seen. Before I knew it, several other disgusting men with greasy beards were helping the Mohel drag me downstairs where I was put on a slab and held down as my pants were yanked down. The Mohel, still grinning like the sex offender that he is, proceeded to sexually assault and mutilate me. The bastard Rabbi supervised the whole thing. His wife drowned out my screams upstairs by turning on the “Fiddler on the Roof” soundtrack at full blast. My mother cowered in the living room together with my stepfather, ignoring my cries for help.
Next thing I knew, he started pulling me down into the basement. I tried to get away. My mother was nowhere to be seen. Before I knew it, several other disgusting men with greasy beards were helping the Mohel drag me downstairs where I was put on a slab and held down as my pants were yanked down.
I remember blacking out from the pain and then coming to crying in the car while the Rabbi’s wife was nonchalantly offering my mother some beet salad and gefilte fish, saying “I see you didn’t get a chance to it eat, so I packed some fish and salad for you.” Turns out it was some perverse “bris and brunch” event where they flew in a Mohel from New York to give conveyr line circumcision, followed by a lovely kosher luncheon. I was the only child present. That Rabbi agreed to this barbarism and told my stepfather it was a good idea to bring a nine year old to a ritual meant for consenting adults.
I never really received any help or support and had to cope silently and internally with this trauma for decades. My mother and stepfather ended up getting divorced anyway the following year, so my ordeal was all for nothing. I have never really forgiven my mother for this atrocity and she continues to gaslight me to this day, saying things like “you’re exaggerating” and “it wasn’t that bad,” or my favorite “none of your American friends will think this story is strange or traumatizing because everyone in America gets circumcised.”
My latest pick at the scab was in the form of the Rabbi’s wife about five years ago. By chance I ended up stuck in an elevator with her. She recognized me, but it’s not a shocker because our families did continue to interact on and off over the years, and she had the audacity to open her mouth and say “Oh, remember when we had you circumcised as a kid and how much you screamed and thrashed? It was so cute!” If that elevator went up one more floor, I would’ve been writing this from prison.
“Oh, remember when we had you circumcised as a kid and how much you screamed and thrashed? It was so cute!”
הסיפור הזה מראה, לדעתנו, את התמונה של כפיית הברית על ילדים ללא הסכמתם בצורה מאוד ברורה. כשזה תינוק לוקחים אותו על הידיים וחותכים לו את הפין בלי שהוא יבין. כאן המעשה נעשה על ילד שהיה יכול להבין והיה יכול להתנגד. אולם היו לידו גברים יותר חזקים ממנו שהחזיקו אותו בכוח. הסיפור מפחיד, מזוויע ומצמרר. תנסו להשליך את זה על החברה שלנו. גם אנחנו חותכים לילדים את איבר מינם ללא הסכמתם. למה שנגרום עוול כזה לילדים שלנו? למה שנעשה משהו כזה בהצדקה שהם לא יזכרו אחר כך? גם אם התינוק לא זוכר המעשה לא נהיה פחות אלים בגלל זה. אולי אפילו יותר.
הגיבו ושתפו בין חברים. כל טיפה של מידע יכולה להציל ילד נוסף ממילה בכפייה.